Sick & Tired

In AA there is a saying "sick and tired of being sick and tired".  That's where I am.  I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Over the past few years I have just let myself go.  Not of being sober.  I have no desire to drink - or should I say no desire to have to stop drinking.  I have let go of taking care of my body.  I used to love working out, running, keeping in shape, eating healthy, sweating, feeling the heat beat on my shoulders as I ran in the afternoon sun.  Somewhere between hot flashes, turning 50 and settling into a happy marriage I inched away from my running shoes and got comfy on the family room couch.

Now my scale screams a 30 pound overage and I'm feeling overwhelmed at the idea of trying to lose just even 5 pounds!  I have a false start every morning - and by noon my lazy mind is telling me it's okay to be middle aged and overweight.

So, after my lunchtime nap this afternoon, I am going to start fresh and kick some ass.  I am committing myself to getting in shape one day at a time.  No more google searches for "7 day crash diets" or "quick beach body workouts".  I know I need to put in the time, comitt to a lifestyle change and enjoy the journey.  It's up to me to make the change.  I didn't get this way overnight - so what I need now, in addition to perseverance, is patience.  I take full responsibility for where I am - the bad habits I have formed - therefore,  I am taking full responsibility for changing these habits and transforming my life into one that I am comfortable in.

I am blogging this not for anyone but myself.  If I get this craziness out of my head it feels real and no longer haunts my every thought.  If you happen to read this and get something out of it, great.  Even better if you have some thoughts to offer for the journey.  I do believe all tough times are easier handled with the help of others.

Until the next time,

Your friend,

Me this past summer - + 30 pounds

Me less than 10 years ago when fitness was a priority

Mary Beth